Monday, March 22, 2010

Sibling Bonding

SIBLING BONDING
My elder sister was 8 years senior to me in age, and the eldest, 16 years. The earliest recollection of the latter one is of a young lady with a small daugter in tow, who used to come to our house once in a while as an honoured guest, with all members of the family fussing over the mother and daughter duo all the time.Not a very happy recollection as with the arrival of the guests, I was ignored in equal measure.This was somewhat painful as being the youngest child of my parents I was accustomed to getting lot of attention in normal course.The person who was doing the maximum doting over me was my elder sister who remained my only childhood companion till she herself got married off at the age of 16.I used to call her by her first name inspite of my parents' directive to show some deference to her by using a respectful adjective like Didi or Bahenji.She became my Bahenji only after the birth of her first child, a son.My fights with her were quite often vigorously physical till she finally left for her husband's place.
The most favoured child of my father was my elder sister, much to the jealousy of both me and our elder brother, and I do not recollect of him ever losing temper or scolding her for her misdeeds which in my childhood eyes were aplenty.We had a desk clock of English make Jazz, the only timepiece in our household.The clock had to be wound once in 24 hours to keep it going, the duty for which was assigned to my sister. Once while winding it she dropped it to the floor breaking it into two pieces, the back cover having come asunder.My mother was shocked.How shall we manage our routine now? The Master of the House has to go to his office on time, and the children to their respective schools, again on time.With no timepiece around, we shall be lost.This was a time when almost all machine items had to be imported from Germany or England, and timepieces including watches were proud possessions. But I was very much elated, and was waiting impatiently for father to come back home from office and thrash this girl of a sister for her carelessness.So finally the day has come when this darling of our father will definitely get a sound bashing from him, I thought.I was ofcourse wrong and had underestimated her cleverness.She accosted father at the front door, before he could even step into the house, with downcast eyes and a long face. "Babuji, I have done a grave mistake today. I have dropped the table clock and broke it into pieces.Please punish me." He put his hand on my sister's head fondly and said,"Oh my darling daughter, don't you worry. Such things do happen in life. We will get the clock mended." I was aghast and felt like crying. My mother smiled broadly, and muttered under her breadth, "you scheming girl."
Sister had a beautiful singing voice and tried her best to teach me too to sing.She used to take great pride when I would sing in my squeaky voice Noorjehan's old immortal songs to the family gathering.As mother was usually too busy in cooking and in her normal duties as a homemaker, she had little time for me. So sister was my mother too. I would sleep during nights only with her, snuggling close for comfort. One afternoon, she sat on a pair of scissors inadvertently and suffered a serious cut She started bleeding profusely from the cut.Seeing the free flow of blood, I started crying inconsolably and entwined myself to her, disregardful of the blood soaking me too. "Oh, my sister, please don't die.How will I live without you?", I wailed. She had to be wrenched free from me to be taken to the doctor who gave her six stiches to stop the flow of blood.The wound took two months to heal.
All what I have mentioned above would have remained dormant in the folds of my memory till my last day but for the fact that I started seeing every day encore of the same brother sister drama in my present household.My grandson, aged 6, and the granddaughter of 13 years are mostly in fighting mode. But reconcilation comes equally fast.Next conflict may assume more violent proportions with the boy usually assuming aggressively attacking posture.On hearing the turmoil the elders always advise the girl to restrain herself, being twice in size and more mature, and she, poor soul ,usually capitulates.But sometimes she is not able to digest the tantrums of the young fellow, and unable to give back what she is getting, her cup of woes spills over.Using the ultimate weapon invented by Queen Kaikeyi in ' Dwapar Yug ' and used by the feminine gender all over the world eversince, she retires into the ' Kope Bhavan'.
The boy is very fond of chocolates and demands one whenever he accompanies me to the market. But he never forgets to make me buy one more for the sister, which
he dutifully passes on to her.The girl also takes lot of pride in the achievements of the brother and watches his antics on and off the stage with great relish. The two are inseparable and feel desolate when they do not see each other even for a short while.
The emotions in this relationship of siblings runs deep; rivalry, jealousy, protectiveness, possessiveness, anger on dissidence, pride, friendship, magnanimity and unbounded love are few of them. Time and distance may dull these, but they remain permanently imprinted in the mind and heart.
My sister has passed away 5 years ago, leaving her children and siblings deeply grieved.
Be in peace Sister, wherever you are.
.
Author: S.S.Seth