UNWELCOME PHONE CALLS
I do not welcome a call on my cell phone while driving, as it diverts the attention, and is even illegal to use in some states while you are in the driver’s seat. It was therefore with some irritation that I switched on the device to answer the call on the third ring, while proceeding to my office the other day. Maybe something really important my wife needs to convey to me, I thought. It was a stranger’s voice who called me by my exact name and requested me to spare him a moment’s time to talk about something very important for me, with all the humility at his command. He introduced himself as the Special Officer of XYZ Insurance Company whose insurance policy I had bought some two years ago, and unfolded a scheme which would make me richer by about forty five thousand rupees in a period of one month. His talk continued for about seven minutes, outlining his plan, which in essence boiled down to my giving to his contact person a crossed cheque for Rs. 21,000 in the name of XYZ Insurance Company as seed money to win me the promised bonanza by the end of next month. The seed money will also be returned to me along with above sum, he assured me. He wanted my consent right at that moment, or latest by 3 PM the same afternoon, when he would call me again. His glib talk and attempt to corner me for an immediate response sent my antenna up, and I asked him to call me only at 5 PM, and not earlier. In the meantime I called my friend, the Manager of the local branch of the XYZ Insurance Company, who had earlier sold me the investment-cum-insurance policy. He expressed his ignorance of the special scheme narrated by the Unknown Caller (U.C.), earlier in the day, and wanted me to be wary of such traps.
At 10 AM next morning I again got a call on my cell phone from a Delhi based land line having the number similar to the U.C.’s, except that it had two last digits different. This time I felt no irritation; only a sense of fulfillment of an expectation. It looked like a game of cat and mouse, I being the cat for a change. I pulled the car to the side and killed the engine, preparing for a long talk. The familiar voice, dripping sweetness, started repeating what he had told yesterday. I cut him short and said, “Look here Sir, I fully remember what you told me last morning, and to prove that, I will do the talking, and you will please listen. Do you agree?” He replied with some hesitation, probably because the matter was drifting in an unexpected direction, “Yes, yes, by all means. Please proceed.” I continued, starting off with his exact words as heard by me the previous day, “I am extremely indebted to you for trying to help an old man like me with money which I certainly need. But unfortunately I do not know you. I am unfamiliar with your name, address, telephone number and exact position in XYZ Insurance Company. I tried to contact you back yesterday on your calling number displayed on my mobile, but your telephone was either engaged or not attended. So you are beyond my reach even before we have started any transaction. Suppose I hand over my cheque for Rs.21,000 to your contact, what is the assurance that I will get back Rs.66,000 next month or ever in my life time? What do I do in such a condition, except curse my gullibility in believing a total stranger like you? You will no doubt pocket your commission of Rs 2000 or Rs.3000 or whatever is the prevailing rate of the Company for enticing new ‘bakras’ for a scheme which may even be age barred for a man of my years…..” Nonplussed, U.C. interjected, “Sir, how can I get any commission from the Company? I am not a private player. I am their paid employee, and get only a regular salary.” I however cut him short once again and said, “You had agreed to listen to me first. Please do so as I have not finished yet. After talking to you yesterday, I called the Manager of the local branch of XYZ Insurance Company, and he advised me to tell you to contact him and make him aware of your scheme as he himself never heard about it. In case he clears it I will certainly pay any money he advises, but not a paisa without his telling me to do so. His name and telephone numbers are as follows……” There was a soft click on the earpiece side of my mobile. U.C. had rung off.
I was wondering whether such a call could be termed as an unsolicited call from a telemarketer and qualify for a fine of Rs.2.5 lacs, as mooted by the authorities for enactment of rules with effect from January 11, 2011. And then I remembered another incidence when my gullibility would have put me in the red for several thousands of rupees, a few years ago. The story goes like this.
I got a call from a local landline number, congratulating me for having been shortlisted as recipient of a highly subsidized holiday package in one of their several holiday homes spread across the country. I along with my wife are invited, he said, for a presentation by them in a local hotel at 3 P.M. next afternoon, followed by high tea and a special gift for important participants like us. With the lure of free chow chow topped by a gift, and also next day being a Sunday, made me say, yes; we will come. When we reached the venue at the appointed time, we found the hall nearly full, with about 30 couples like us, and 8 hosts. Some of the participants were known to me. The registration formalities were completed quickly, and the guests were divided in five groups. Each group was addressed by a well attired youngster, with a fine gift of gab. We were shown well thumbed glossy magazines with pictures of beautiful hill stations and exotic places of tourist interest. All the documents were superscribed in bold print with the logo of their firm, M/S ABC Holiday Homes Private Ltd. The prices asked for different packages appeared to be quite reasonable, with free transport from and to the concerned Railway Stations or Airports. Complimentary breakfast and/or dinner were thrown in as extra attraction on different days. On the whole, the offers appeared to be too good to be refused point blank. But the rub was—the prices were still in several thousands of rupees, and they wanted us to commit our acceptance or otherwise immediately, before leaving the hall. I wanted at least two days time to decide in consultation with my son, who was away on tour, and to mentally convince myself that I could really afford to spend the large sum of money at that point of time. The Organizers, however were not prepared to grant us any further time to give our final decision. With a heavy heart, we said ‘No’, and quickly left with the gift, a cheap porcelain flower vase, missing the high tea.
A month later I happened to run into one of the participants who had said ‘Yes’ after the presentation, and asked him as to how the holiday with M/S ABC Holiday Homes Pvt. went. The gentleman exploded with all the expletives in his vocabulary, and said the trip was a complete wash out. It was a thoroughly ill organized tour and the Company did not deliver most of the freebies they had promised, giving unacceptable excuses. They do not own any of the Holiday Homes they had shown in the pictures; they get these on off-season rates from second class dirty hotels, who fail to get clientele in normal course. He had to abort the trip half way, and returned home. He said he intends to report to the Authorities against the Company. I wished him good luck in getting even a faint scent of the Organizers, who must have by now vanished into thin air.
Unfortunately, such fraudsters are still in business, as only quite recently one of my friends reported to me enthusiastically the receipt of a similar telephone call, to which he intends to respond positively, he said. I recounted above story to him which came to him as a big damper.
Any law on the anvil against such scam mongers?
Friday, December 10, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Welcome Sunset Years
Welcome Sunset Years
At a tender age the child is sent to school to amass knowledge, to imbibe discipline and generally to prepare him or her to face the world successfully in future life. This starts off a process that lasts till the poor fellow sees the last of the college after a long and tortuous journey, encountering sleepless nights, numerous ups and downs and occasional heartburns to reach better-than-others position in this cut throat and severely competitive world. Some are pressured to excel in arts, sports, theatre, debate, singing, drama and what not by their parents or guardians till they feel like crying “stop now, for heaven’s sake, enough is enough.” And then starts the hunt for a job, a suitable matrimonial match, advancement in career and finally ditto for their own children. This consumes the whole life till the age of sixty or thereabouts. No doubt, with the youthful exuberance, unbounded energy, tough challenges and the pleasure which comes out of meeting them head on, the life is on a song. The enjoyable moments pass off too soon, or so it appears. But the concern and the uncertainty of future remains at the back of the mind till all the problems are addressed and loose ends tied up. The crux of the matter is that there is not a day when you are free from any worry about tomorrow, or the day after. And finally a day comes when you see the last of your office, or factory, or business or whatever you have been doing for donkey years to earn a living. This day you start your retired life, and should carry a large placard at the back of your car proclaiming “J R”, or “Just Retired” in large bold letters. Yes, it should be in the style of “Just Married”, for this day is equally important. You may the same day acquire one more sobriquet, which carries lot of advantages with it, that is, you become a senior citizen of the country. And additionally, you can enjoy your preschool entry years for a much longer duration, with not a worry to bother you, and with a fully mature mind and physical capabilities.
Usually, the retiree is given a send off suiting his rank in the hierarchy, by his colleagues of the yore, accompanied by high sounding speeches praising the sterling qualities of the central person on the podium, qualities discovered by the speakers the same day or maybe a little earlier. As the last item on the agenda the retiree is asked to speak and give his parting advice on how to run the Department which due to his absence may crumble down the next day. This makes the hero of the day think, well, after all these years these buggers have only now realized my true worth, which may be somewhat late in the day. All the same he feels elated and overcome by emotion on parting with such doting colleagues, faces the microphone and babbles out some long forgotten anecdotes, and finally thanks those present for having given their wholehearted cooperation to make him successful in his long innings. Members of the congregation meanwhile wait for the long speech to end so that they can attack the goodies getting cold and soggie on the adjoining tables.
I wonder on the sense of duty and involvement of a relative of mine who continued to visit the branch office of a public sector undertaking from where he retired as the in-charge some ten months ago, to advise the customers and the staff on various matters, every working day of the week. He had to break this routine for about fifteen days due to sickness, during which period not a single phone call came asking the reasons of his absence. Nobody asked him why he did not show up for this long period even when he rejoined his voluntary duties. With this, he got the message and discontinued his self assumed responsibilities forthwith. I really appreciate the level of tolerance of the office staff for the intrusion of this person who was now an outsider for all practical purposes. This example shows that we all tend to glorify in our mind the role we had played in our previous avatar, forgetting the example of the hand in a bucket of water. The hand occupies a prominent place in the bucket so long it is there, but the moment you remove it, the water rushes in to move into the vacated place. There never is a vacuum. For the good of everybody, we should work in our active working life span in a way that our next man in command should be able to step into our shoes at a moment’s notice, if the occasion so demands. This advice is however seldom followed as it goes against the basic human nature of always preserving his importance and irreplaceability. A great sense of dejection and self pity therefore engulfs him or her on the retirement day, and he/she cannot help marching back in time to the thoughts of bygone days of glory and power, again and again.
A friend of mine based at San Jose, California, had mailed me few thoughts of a person who had retired some time ago, and requested me to forward this mail to at least 7 more persons. I am reproducing these as I find them quite topical and many more than seven people can derive the benefit on reading this article. The mail reads as follows:
“I will never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I have aged, I have become kinder to myself and less critical of myself. I have become my own friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I did’nt need, but it looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with ageing.
“Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70’s and if I, at the same time, weep over a lost love, I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body and will dive into waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
“They too will get old.
“I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of the life is just as well forgotten. And eventually I remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and never knows the joys of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you grow older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself any more. I’ve earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like to be the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day, if I feel like it.”
My dear Readers, do you subscribe to the ‘I don’t care two hoots of what you think of me’ attitude of the author of above quote? Frankly speaking, I do. This is how a four year old will feel, before he is burdened with ever increasing demands from the forces controlling his life. But, unfortunately, the person who enters the qualifying zone of senior citizenship has to deal with failing health, uncertain financial security and above all, spells of boredom in suddenly finding that he has nothing much left to do. Having spent a few years of post retirement life, and being a senior citizen for over decade and half, I would venture to put forth some suggestions in the following lines which you may find of interest.
Some decades ago, the age of sixty was considered to be the gateway to grave; and the incumbent a burden on society. He himself would retire into a cocoon, shun the company of youngsters and count the days left for him to live as bonus. Nether world appeared to him to be close by, and he would plunge fulltime into matters spiritual, preparing for a better next life. Today, however things are much different. Thanks to the large scale practice of yoga, pranayam, regular walking, aerobic exercises, better healthcare and improved lifestyle, the life expectancy has dramatically increased. I see in my locality people well into their seventies and eighties walking in the park, socializing and enjoying life with their same age and even younger friends. Not that they do not have health problems, but they have learnt to live in the present, for the past is a closed chapter, the future nobody has seen, and the present is after all a present (gift) to you. The yoga and pranayam practice sessions run with full attendance every day of the week at the appointed hour, come winter, summer or rains. In the senior citizens’ club, like of which are now running in several localities of the city, lectures by health care professionals are being arranged by the office bearers. Such talks are hugely popular and beneficial to the participants.
Proper diet and correct food habits are as important to a happy old age life as regular exercise. The advisability of partaking light vegetarian food with minimum spices, fat, sugar, salt and fried items cannot be over emphasized. Occasional binge of rich food and a peg or two of liquor, particularly in company, can be considered to be acceptable, for life should not be allowed to be a drag and not worth living. Variation in food items, meal to meal, will make eating a pleasant experience to which you would look forward to with anticipation. Diabetes and hypertension are two scourges which are on the rise and afflict many before they are sixty or thereabouts. Both of these are conditions which are irreversible, but with controlled diet, exercise and medication, if advised by the healthcare expert, normal complication free life is certainly possible. For diabetics, there is a raging debate about the use of sugar substitutes like Sugarfree, Equal, Splenda etc. and the medical opinion is divided whether these have harmful after effects or otherwise. In place of artificial sweeteners, it is possibly better to take half or quarter teaspoonful of sugar in a cup of tea or coffee to start with, and then stop the use of sugar altogether in course of time. Believe me, these beverages taste equally good without any sweetener also, once you get used to.
Smoking or use of tobacco in any form is strictly no no. In case you are an addict, it is advisable to get rid of tobacco at the very earliest. The concept that this habit can be tapered off to complete discontinuation is a myth. With certain determination, the use of tobacco has to be stopped at one go. Many of my known people have done so, once the conviction that smoking or chewing tobacco is certain invitation to catastrophe sets in.
If you have been a Government employee at the time of retirement and are entitled to pension benefits, you are lucky, as the pension amount is likely to get enhanced automatically with the increase of general prices. Not as much as to offset the rising prices completely, but may be to some extent. Those who separate out with a one time provident fund and gratuity payment by the employer are not so well placed. The rise of prices will always be much higher than regular income by way of bank interest on your investments. Investment in mutual funds can be a good alternative provided the right choice is exercised. Expert agencies may be consulted for guidance on intelligent investment, as a wrong choice may make you lose even the basic principal, which can never be recouped for want of a regular source of income. Total dependence on the children, who at least in India are usually willing to support the parents in their twilight years due to our cultural heritage, has to be resorted to as the last alternative. Legal recourse is available to those who are financially insecure and their children are not willing to support them at this time of need. Many parents have to spend a lonely life as the children migrate to foreign shores for advancement of their professional career. Well appointed ‘Old Persons’ Homes’ are now available at an affordable price. If you are reasonably comfortable from a financial point of view, go ahead and enjoy life as per the quote mentioned above. Please keep your property, both movable and immovable, in your own name or in the name of your spouse. A will (testament) should be drawn out with expert guidance, clearly listing out the details of your property and mentioning accurately the disposal of the assets, after your departure. The will should be signed by two younger witnesses who are not likely to predecease you in normal circumstances. The contents of your will can be disclosed to the beneficiaries of the same unless there is a special reason not to do so. Your near and dear should not be left to an uncertainty which will be resolved only after you are dead and gone. The disclosure to those concerned may give you an opportunity to make corrections and readjustments in the will document, if you so desire. But you are the final authority on how you wish to bequeath your self- earned assets. There is a school of thought that advocates your enjoying the fruits of your labour to the last paisa before you finally close your eyes. Well, you are certainly entitled to do so, but only after providing for your surviving spouse for his/her remaining years of life.
Those of you who are in reasonably good health, and get an opportunity to work in line with your qualifications and experience, may continue working as this will delay the retirement, apart from giving some financial support. Alternatively, you may join some social or community service, or religious activity if you are so inclined. With many avenues to keep one engaged, the passing of the time of the day should not be a bother at all. Personal computer, desk top type or laptop, can make you spend quality time till you become an internet addict, which condition I will never advise you to achieve. You can listen to and even download on the computer memory any song or movie of your choice any time of the day, and at no cost. Choice of music or movies you can pick up at the internet sites is very large indeed. Any query on any conceivable subject can be answered in a jiffy, thanks to sites like Google. For composition of text by way of letters or literary pieces on the computer Word Pad is extremely user friendly. You can blog, tweet, enter the face book or join any other social networking site to reach any number of people in the world, and make new friends. Use of e-mail and web cam will connect you to your friends and near and dear persons at the speed of light, across the globe and with minimal cost. You can book railway, airline and cinema tickets and hotel or resort accommodation, sitting in your home, and obtain the tickets or receipts using a printer without having to stand in long queues. Electronic trading in shares is a very popular activity, and has displaced the middle men to a large extent. The advantages of a computer with internet connection are really very great, and it is worthwhile investing in a laptop and net connectivity.
Persons who are not computer literate have an inborn resistance to learn the technique at this stage of life, which is quite understandable. But looking to the advantages, this resistance has to be overcome. Your children or grandchildren will be quite happy to teach you the use of computer, and you should not mind learning new things from the youngsters who are smarter than what we were at their age. Proficiency will come fast, with practice.
Solving Crossword and Sudoku puzzles is very interesting exercise, and both are intensely habit forming. These should be therefore attempted within limits, lest you are not left with time to do anything else. Reading newspapers, magazines, works of fiction and non-fiction etc. could be quite engrossing, if you are an avid reader. There are special magazines devoted to senior citizens with matters of geriatric interest. One such monthly magazine ‘Dignity Dialogue’ published from Mumbai landed on my table the other day, as one of my old colleagues had gifted me its subscription for a year. This is a good magazine and offers useful tips relevant to senior citizens. And then there is TV with umpteen channels, and FM radio broadcasts which span all waking hours. What about giving some quality time to your spouse and younger members of the family which you could never do in your active working life? With so many options to keep you engrossed, time should not weigh heavy on you. So far as I am concerned, I just don’t know how the waking hours pass. At the end of the day I am not able to count on my fingers substantive results achieved, except a Sudoku puzzle solved, some household gadgets repaired and a page or two typed on my Word Pad. There is always a big agenda left for the next day.
To sum up, my friends, I would say that you are only as old you think you are, as the body ages, but the mind does not. And it is better to be seventy years young than forty years old. You are getting wiser as you grow old. Somerset Maugham had said quite aptly in one of his popular books “From the earliest times the old had rubbed it into the young that they are wiser than they, and before the young had discovered what nonsense this was they were old too, and it profited them to carry on the imposture.”
You may share your views at : ‘seth_santsaran@rediffmail.com’
Author: S.S.Seth
At a tender age the child is sent to school to amass knowledge, to imbibe discipline and generally to prepare him or her to face the world successfully in future life. This starts off a process that lasts till the poor fellow sees the last of the college after a long and tortuous journey, encountering sleepless nights, numerous ups and downs and occasional heartburns to reach better-than-others position in this cut throat and severely competitive world. Some are pressured to excel in arts, sports, theatre, debate, singing, drama and what not by their parents or guardians till they feel like crying “stop now, for heaven’s sake, enough is enough.” And then starts the hunt for a job, a suitable matrimonial match, advancement in career and finally ditto for their own children. This consumes the whole life till the age of sixty or thereabouts. No doubt, with the youthful exuberance, unbounded energy, tough challenges and the pleasure which comes out of meeting them head on, the life is on a song. The enjoyable moments pass off too soon, or so it appears. But the concern and the uncertainty of future remains at the back of the mind till all the problems are addressed and loose ends tied up. The crux of the matter is that there is not a day when you are free from any worry about tomorrow, or the day after. And finally a day comes when you see the last of your office, or factory, or business or whatever you have been doing for donkey years to earn a living. This day you start your retired life, and should carry a large placard at the back of your car proclaiming “J R”, or “Just Retired” in large bold letters. Yes, it should be in the style of “Just Married”, for this day is equally important. You may the same day acquire one more sobriquet, which carries lot of advantages with it, that is, you become a senior citizen of the country. And additionally, you can enjoy your preschool entry years for a much longer duration, with not a worry to bother you, and with a fully mature mind and physical capabilities.
Usually, the retiree is given a send off suiting his rank in the hierarchy, by his colleagues of the yore, accompanied by high sounding speeches praising the sterling qualities of the central person on the podium, qualities discovered by the speakers the same day or maybe a little earlier. As the last item on the agenda the retiree is asked to speak and give his parting advice on how to run the Department which due to his absence may crumble down the next day. This makes the hero of the day think, well, after all these years these buggers have only now realized my true worth, which may be somewhat late in the day. All the same he feels elated and overcome by emotion on parting with such doting colleagues, faces the microphone and babbles out some long forgotten anecdotes, and finally thanks those present for having given their wholehearted cooperation to make him successful in his long innings. Members of the congregation meanwhile wait for the long speech to end so that they can attack the goodies getting cold and soggie on the adjoining tables.
I wonder on the sense of duty and involvement of a relative of mine who continued to visit the branch office of a public sector undertaking from where he retired as the in-charge some ten months ago, to advise the customers and the staff on various matters, every working day of the week. He had to break this routine for about fifteen days due to sickness, during which period not a single phone call came asking the reasons of his absence. Nobody asked him why he did not show up for this long period even when he rejoined his voluntary duties. With this, he got the message and discontinued his self assumed responsibilities forthwith. I really appreciate the level of tolerance of the office staff for the intrusion of this person who was now an outsider for all practical purposes. This example shows that we all tend to glorify in our mind the role we had played in our previous avatar, forgetting the example of the hand in a bucket of water. The hand occupies a prominent place in the bucket so long it is there, but the moment you remove it, the water rushes in to move into the vacated place. There never is a vacuum. For the good of everybody, we should work in our active working life span in a way that our next man in command should be able to step into our shoes at a moment’s notice, if the occasion so demands. This advice is however seldom followed as it goes against the basic human nature of always preserving his importance and irreplaceability. A great sense of dejection and self pity therefore engulfs him or her on the retirement day, and he/she cannot help marching back in time to the thoughts of bygone days of glory and power, again and again.
A friend of mine based at San Jose, California, had mailed me few thoughts of a person who had retired some time ago, and requested me to forward this mail to at least 7 more persons. I am reproducing these as I find them quite topical and many more than seven people can derive the benefit on reading this article. The mail reads as follows:
“I will never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I have aged, I have become kinder to myself and less critical of myself. I have become my own friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I did’nt need, but it looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with ageing.
“Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70’s and if I, at the same time, weep over a lost love, I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body and will dive into waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
“They too will get old.
“I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of the life is just as well forgotten. And eventually I remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and never knows the joys of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you grow older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself any more. I’ve earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like to be the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day, if I feel like it.”
My dear Readers, do you subscribe to the ‘I don’t care two hoots of what you think of me’ attitude of the author of above quote? Frankly speaking, I do. This is how a four year old will feel, before he is burdened with ever increasing demands from the forces controlling his life. But, unfortunately, the person who enters the qualifying zone of senior citizenship has to deal with failing health, uncertain financial security and above all, spells of boredom in suddenly finding that he has nothing much left to do. Having spent a few years of post retirement life, and being a senior citizen for over decade and half, I would venture to put forth some suggestions in the following lines which you may find of interest.
Some decades ago, the age of sixty was considered to be the gateway to grave; and the incumbent a burden on society. He himself would retire into a cocoon, shun the company of youngsters and count the days left for him to live as bonus. Nether world appeared to him to be close by, and he would plunge fulltime into matters spiritual, preparing for a better next life. Today, however things are much different. Thanks to the large scale practice of yoga, pranayam, regular walking, aerobic exercises, better healthcare and improved lifestyle, the life expectancy has dramatically increased. I see in my locality people well into their seventies and eighties walking in the park, socializing and enjoying life with their same age and even younger friends. Not that they do not have health problems, but they have learnt to live in the present, for the past is a closed chapter, the future nobody has seen, and the present is after all a present (gift) to you. The yoga and pranayam practice sessions run with full attendance every day of the week at the appointed hour, come winter, summer or rains. In the senior citizens’ club, like of which are now running in several localities of the city, lectures by health care professionals are being arranged by the office bearers. Such talks are hugely popular and beneficial to the participants.
Proper diet and correct food habits are as important to a happy old age life as regular exercise. The advisability of partaking light vegetarian food with minimum spices, fat, sugar, salt and fried items cannot be over emphasized. Occasional binge of rich food and a peg or two of liquor, particularly in company, can be considered to be acceptable, for life should not be allowed to be a drag and not worth living. Variation in food items, meal to meal, will make eating a pleasant experience to which you would look forward to with anticipation. Diabetes and hypertension are two scourges which are on the rise and afflict many before they are sixty or thereabouts. Both of these are conditions which are irreversible, but with controlled diet, exercise and medication, if advised by the healthcare expert, normal complication free life is certainly possible. For diabetics, there is a raging debate about the use of sugar substitutes like Sugarfree, Equal, Splenda etc. and the medical opinion is divided whether these have harmful after effects or otherwise. In place of artificial sweeteners, it is possibly better to take half or quarter teaspoonful of sugar in a cup of tea or coffee to start with, and then stop the use of sugar altogether in course of time. Believe me, these beverages taste equally good without any sweetener also, once you get used to.
Smoking or use of tobacco in any form is strictly no no. In case you are an addict, it is advisable to get rid of tobacco at the very earliest. The concept that this habit can be tapered off to complete discontinuation is a myth. With certain determination, the use of tobacco has to be stopped at one go. Many of my known people have done so, once the conviction that smoking or chewing tobacco is certain invitation to catastrophe sets in.
If you have been a Government employee at the time of retirement and are entitled to pension benefits, you are lucky, as the pension amount is likely to get enhanced automatically with the increase of general prices. Not as much as to offset the rising prices completely, but may be to some extent. Those who separate out with a one time provident fund and gratuity payment by the employer are not so well placed. The rise of prices will always be much higher than regular income by way of bank interest on your investments. Investment in mutual funds can be a good alternative provided the right choice is exercised. Expert agencies may be consulted for guidance on intelligent investment, as a wrong choice may make you lose even the basic principal, which can never be recouped for want of a regular source of income. Total dependence on the children, who at least in India are usually willing to support the parents in their twilight years due to our cultural heritage, has to be resorted to as the last alternative. Legal recourse is available to those who are financially insecure and their children are not willing to support them at this time of need. Many parents have to spend a lonely life as the children migrate to foreign shores for advancement of their professional career. Well appointed ‘Old Persons’ Homes’ are now available at an affordable price. If you are reasonably comfortable from a financial point of view, go ahead and enjoy life as per the quote mentioned above. Please keep your property, both movable and immovable, in your own name or in the name of your spouse. A will (testament) should be drawn out with expert guidance, clearly listing out the details of your property and mentioning accurately the disposal of the assets, after your departure. The will should be signed by two younger witnesses who are not likely to predecease you in normal circumstances. The contents of your will can be disclosed to the beneficiaries of the same unless there is a special reason not to do so. Your near and dear should not be left to an uncertainty which will be resolved only after you are dead and gone. The disclosure to those concerned may give you an opportunity to make corrections and readjustments in the will document, if you so desire. But you are the final authority on how you wish to bequeath your self- earned assets. There is a school of thought that advocates your enjoying the fruits of your labour to the last paisa before you finally close your eyes. Well, you are certainly entitled to do so, but only after providing for your surviving spouse for his/her remaining years of life.
Those of you who are in reasonably good health, and get an opportunity to work in line with your qualifications and experience, may continue working as this will delay the retirement, apart from giving some financial support. Alternatively, you may join some social or community service, or religious activity if you are so inclined. With many avenues to keep one engaged, the passing of the time of the day should not be a bother at all. Personal computer, desk top type or laptop, can make you spend quality time till you become an internet addict, which condition I will never advise you to achieve. You can listen to and even download on the computer memory any song or movie of your choice any time of the day, and at no cost. Choice of music or movies you can pick up at the internet sites is very large indeed. Any query on any conceivable subject can be answered in a jiffy, thanks to sites like Google. For composition of text by way of letters or literary pieces on the computer Word Pad is extremely user friendly. You can blog, tweet, enter the face book or join any other social networking site to reach any number of people in the world, and make new friends. Use of e-mail and web cam will connect you to your friends and near and dear persons at the speed of light, across the globe and with minimal cost. You can book railway, airline and cinema tickets and hotel or resort accommodation, sitting in your home, and obtain the tickets or receipts using a printer without having to stand in long queues. Electronic trading in shares is a very popular activity, and has displaced the middle men to a large extent. The advantages of a computer with internet connection are really very great, and it is worthwhile investing in a laptop and net connectivity.
Persons who are not computer literate have an inborn resistance to learn the technique at this stage of life, which is quite understandable. But looking to the advantages, this resistance has to be overcome. Your children or grandchildren will be quite happy to teach you the use of computer, and you should not mind learning new things from the youngsters who are smarter than what we were at their age. Proficiency will come fast, with practice.
Solving Crossword and Sudoku puzzles is very interesting exercise, and both are intensely habit forming. These should be therefore attempted within limits, lest you are not left with time to do anything else. Reading newspapers, magazines, works of fiction and non-fiction etc. could be quite engrossing, if you are an avid reader. There are special magazines devoted to senior citizens with matters of geriatric interest. One such monthly magazine ‘Dignity Dialogue’ published from Mumbai landed on my table the other day, as one of my old colleagues had gifted me its subscription for a year. This is a good magazine and offers useful tips relevant to senior citizens. And then there is TV with umpteen channels, and FM radio broadcasts which span all waking hours. What about giving some quality time to your spouse and younger members of the family which you could never do in your active working life? With so many options to keep you engrossed, time should not weigh heavy on you. So far as I am concerned, I just don’t know how the waking hours pass. At the end of the day I am not able to count on my fingers substantive results achieved, except a Sudoku puzzle solved, some household gadgets repaired and a page or two typed on my Word Pad. There is always a big agenda left for the next day.
To sum up, my friends, I would say that you are only as old you think you are, as the body ages, but the mind does not. And it is better to be seventy years young than forty years old. You are getting wiser as you grow old. Somerset Maugham had said quite aptly in one of his popular books “From the earliest times the old had rubbed it into the young that they are wiser than they, and before the young had discovered what nonsense this was they were old too, and it profited them to carry on the imposture.”
You may share your views at : ‘seth_santsaran@rediffmail.com’
Author: S.S.Seth
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Experiences Post Retirement
POST RETIREMENT EXPERIENCES
I superannuated after my over 35 year stint with the public sector behemoth, SAIL, about 18 years ago. Parting after such a long association and demiting office from near the top of the chosen profession left me with a mixed bag of feelings. A tug at the heart for sudden rupture of bonhomie with old colleagues at top and bottom rungs of hierarchy and with peers, and feeling of immense relief on offloading of the heavy responsibilities on somebody else's shoulders, were most dominating in my frame of thinking.
I had got the retirement order after a short extention, and could have got more extensions had I tried, but I found the private sector beckoning me with open arms and somewhat lucrative offers.So I said goodbye to my longtime benefactor and finally quit.The almost unlimited growth oppotunities, excellent work culture and long experience in handling men, material and equipment had prepared me adequately for tackling new challenges, and I embarked on my new avatar with enthusiasm.However, after starting off, one of the first lessons that I learnt was to hang my ego, whatever little of it I had, on a convenient peg in my house, before dealing with my new masters
. Various techniques in management of resources, finance, time, men, machines, oppotunities etc we had been taught sufficiently in reputed management schools and institutions in the country and abroad during the public sector life, but very little of an important skill, that is, how to manage the boss.And that too a boss who has no boss over him.I found that many of my erstwhile colleagues who too had joined the private sector on leaving SAIL, on superannuation or after taking voluntary retirement, did not survive in the new environment for more than a few months.The majority of private sector organisations, specially in our country, are family owned and family managed and headed by a senior member of the family, quite often alone when he is young, and later, with the assistance of his close kith and kin.The new entrant in such an organisation who has had a long innings in public sector companies is subjected to a cultural shock, at least in the beginning.He realises soon enough that the Managing Director who is also the owner of the company is a tougher nut to crack.
Very often this top man has had no structured management training and has built his empire by dint of hard work and after suffering many ignominies at the hands of Babus and upstarts of the Government and quasi-government organisations he had to deal with in his march to the top.He might have therefore imbibed a feeling of mistrust and dislike for the persons as a class who belong to this stock. His likes and dislikes ars usually quite defined and strong, and he would never like to change, if he could. And admitting that he made a mistake? No, never !. By the time the new fellow understands these facts and takes corrective action, it is usually too late.He is politely told that this company is too small for a talented person like him, and is presented the cheque for the days worked with a flourish.The survivor, if any, now encounters other dangers lurking around the corner.There is a large band of old timers, including confidants of the big boss or their close cohorts, who are watching the poor newcomer like a hawk. They would be happy to grab a chance to pass on to the top any information regarding the house rules flouted or the family traditions broken by the fellow during his learning process, who inspite of being stared at by people unseen by him, has to perform well in the area of his core competence for which he was hired. At this stage the new man has to do something spectacular, like using his old association and influence in his previous company for the benefit of the present employer.This is a dangerous ground.He will find soon enough that all respect and regards he had built up in his long service with the previous company will melt away in no time. His earlier subordinates whose career he had carefully nurtured in the past to take them to their present level of authority will start shunning him. Very soon he will become persona non grata where he was earlier ruling the roost..
The reader of this article may now tend to think that a retiree from a government or public sector company has got no place for him in a private organisation. and such an organisation is meant only for those who are born and brought up there itself. The fact is that many persons who had spent a very long time in ' Sarkari ' companies are doing exceedingly well after they have shifted to the private companies of family owned type or professionally managed corporate houses.The concerned person, of executive or non executive cadre, has to outshine in performance in the specialised field for which he was basically hired. Value addition should be perceivable, so much so that he creates an aura of irreplacibility around him.This stage obviously will take some time to be achieved.To start with, the new man has to assume a non-dominant position, with eyes and ears wide open to fit himself smoothly into the new position. A rudimentry knowledge of human psychology will be of great help to guide him to mete out the right treatment to the people at different levels he is dealing with.
For two successive years after retirement I was invited by my public sector employers to speak to their about-to-retire executives with a view to prepare them for the impending separation. Although I had not really retired from active working life, only there had been a change of employers, I decided to do justice to the presentation to my old fellow executives. With the help of some material available in the library ( Google uncle of internet was possibly not born at that time ), and the drawing skill of the renowned cartoonist Pandurang Rao, who was a close friend of mine, I prepared lot of transparencies.My two hour talks were acclaimed as hits.It appears that the Organisers of my lectures were not aware of my employment status, for I was not the right choice to speak on the subject at that point of time.But the participants appeared to be more knowledgeable. Immediately after the talk, I used to be surrounded by quite a few participants, some with their bio-data and job applications written out and ready to be given to me, asking to be considered for a job in my company or with some other likely employer known to me.
After having put in about fifteen years of service with private sector firms, both family owned and a corporate house, I decided to hang my boots, and finally took voluntary retirement four years ago. Enough of having a boss breathing down my neck, however good he may be as a person, and following an eight to five schedule, day in and day out.I could, after all these years, act on the advice I gave to the would-be-retirees many years ago on how to lead a meaningful retired life. So I am now game for organising training programmes for retirees, and also for those who want to bag a job with private sector players,and keep it for as long as they wish. Any takers ?
Author: S.S.Seth
I superannuated after my over 35 year stint with the public sector behemoth, SAIL, about 18 years ago. Parting after such a long association and demiting office from near the top of the chosen profession left me with a mixed bag of feelings. A tug at the heart for sudden rupture of bonhomie with old colleagues at top and bottom rungs of hierarchy and with peers, and feeling of immense relief on offloading of the heavy responsibilities on somebody else's shoulders, were most dominating in my frame of thinking.
I had got the retirement order after a short extention, and could have got more extensions had I tried, but I found the private sector beckoning me with open arms and somewhat lucrative offers.So I said goodbye to my longtime benefactor and finally quit.The almost unlimited growth oppotunities, excellent work culture and long experience in handling men, material and equipment had prepared me adequately for tackling new challenges, and I embarked on my new avatar with enthusiasm.However, after starting off, one of the first lessons that I learnt was to hang my ego, whatever little of it I had, on a convenient peg in my house, before dealing with my new masters
. Various techniques in management of resources, finance, time, men, machines, oppotunities etc we had been taught sufficiently in reputed management schools and institutions in the country and abroad during the public sector life, but very little of an important skill, that is, how to manage the boss.And that too a boss who has no boss over him.I found that many of my erstwhile colleagues who too had joined the private sector on leaving SAIL, on superannuation or after taking voluntary retirement, did not survive in the new environment for more than a few months.The majority of private sector organisations, specially in our country, are family owned and family managed and headed by a senior member of the family, quite often alone when he is young, and later, with the assistance of his close kith and kin.The new entrant in such an organisation who has had a long innings in public sector companies is subjected to a cultural shock, at least in the beginning.He realises soon enough that the Managing Director who is also the owner of the company is a tougher nut to crack.
Very often this top man has had no structured management training and has built his empire by dint of hard work and after suffering many ignominies at the hands of Babus and upstarts of the Government and quasi-government organisations he had to deal with in his march to the top.He might have therefore imbibed a feeling of mistrust and dislike for the persons as a class who belong to this stock. His likes and dislikes ars usually quite defined and strong, and he would never like to change, if he could. And admitting that he made a mistake? No, never !. By the time the new fellow understands these facts and takes corrective action, it is usually too late.He is politely told that this company is too small for a talented person like him, and is presented the cheque for the days worked with a flourish.The survivor, if any, now encounters other dangers lurking around the corner.There is a large band of old timers, including confidants of the big boss or their close cohorts, who are watching the poor newcomer like a hawk. They would be happy to grab a chance to pass on to the top any information regarding the house rules flouted or the family traditions broken by the fellow during his learning process, who inspite of being stared at by people unseen by him, has to perform well in the area of his core competence for which he was hired. At this stage the new man has to do something spectacular, like using his old association and influence in his previous company for the benefit of the present employer.This is a dangerous ground.He will find soon enough that all respect and regards he had built up in his long service with the previous company will melt away in no time. His earlier subordinates whose career he had carefully nurtured in the past to take them to their present level of authority will start shunning him. Very soon he will become persona non grata where he was earlier ruling the roost..
The reader of this article may now tend to think that a retiree from a government or public sector company has got no place for him in a private organisation. and such an organisation is meant only for those who are born and brought up there itself. The fact is that many persons who had spent a very long time in ' Sarkari ' companies are doing exceedingly well after they have shifted to the private companies of family owned type or professionally managed corporate houses.The concerned person, of executive or non executive cadre, has to outshine in performance in the specialised field for which he was basically hired. Value addition should be perceivable, so much so that he creates an aura of irreplacibility around him.This stage obviously will take some time to be achieved.To start with, the new man has to assume a non-dominant position, with eyes and ears wide open to fit himself smoothly into the new position. A rudimentry knowledge of human psychology will be of great help to guide him to mete out the right treatment to the people at different levels he is dealing with.
For two successive years after retirement I was invited by my public sector employers to speak to their about-to-retire executives with a view to prepare them for the impending separation. Although I had not really retired from active working life, only there had been a change of employers, I decided to do justice to the presentation to my old fellow executives. With the help of some material available in the library ( Google uncle of internet was possibly not born at that time ), and the drawing skill of the renowned cartoonist Pandurang Rao, who was a close friend of mine, I prepared lot of transparencies.My two hour talks were acclaimed as hits.It appears that the Organisers of my lectures were not aware of my employment status, for I was not the right choice to speak on the subject at that point of time.But the participants appeared to be more knowledgeable. Immediately after the talk, I used to be surrounded by quite a few participants, some with their bio-data and job applications written out and ready to be given to me, asking to be considered for a job in my company or with some other likely employer known to me.
After having put in about fifteen years of service with private sector firms, both family owned and a corporate house, I decided to hang my boots, and finally took voluntary retirement four years ago. Enough of having a boss breathing down my neck, however good he may be as a person, and following an eight to five schedule, day in and day out.I could, after all these years, act on the advice I gave to the would-be-retirees many years ago on how to lead a meaningful retired life. So I am now game for organising training programmes for retirees, and also for those who want to bag a job with private sector players,and keep it for as long as they wish. Any takers ?
Author: S.S.Seth
Monday, March 22, 2010
Sibling Bonding
SIBLING BONDING
My elder sister was 8 years senior to me in age, and the eldest, 16 years. The earliest recollection of the latter one is of a young lady with a small daugter in tow, who used to come to our house once in a while as an honoured guest, with all members of the family fussing over the mother and daughter duo all the time.Not a very happy recollection as with the arrival of the guests, I was ignored in equal measure.This was somewhat painful as being the youngest child of my parents I was accustomed to getting lot of attention in normal course.The person who was doing the maximum doting over me was my elder sister who remained my only childhood companion till she herself got married off at the age of 16.I used to call her by her first name inspite of my parents' directive to show some deference to her by using a respectful adjective like Didi or Bahenji.She became my Bahenji only after the birth of her first child, a son.My fights with her were quite often vigorously physical till she finally left for her husband's place.
The most favoured child of my father was my elder sister, much to the jealousy of both me and our elder brother, and I do not recollect of him ever losing temper or scolding her for her misdeeds which in my childhood eyes were aplenty.We had a desk clock of English make Jazz, the only timepiece in our household.The clock had to be wound once in 24 hours to keep it going, the duty for which was assigned to my sister. Once while winding it she dropped it to the floor breaking it into two pieces, the back cover having come asunder.My mother was shocked.How shall we manage our routine now? The Master of the House has to go to his office on time, and the children to their respective schools, again on time.With no timepiece around, we shall be lost.This was a time when almost all machine items had to be imported from Germany or England, and timepieces including watches were proud possessions. But I was very much elated, and was waiting impatiently for father to come back home from office and thrash this girl of a sister for her carelessness.So finally the day has come when this darling of our father will definitely get a sound bashing from him, I thought.I was ofcourse wrong and had underestimated her cleverness.She accosted father at the front door, before he could even step into the house, with downcast eyes and a long face. "Babuji, I have done a grave mistake today. I have dropped the table clock and broke it into pieces.Please punish me." He put his hand on my sister's head fondly and said,"Oh my darling daughter, don't you worry. Such things do happen in life. We will get the clock mended." I was aghast and felt like crying. My mother smiled broadly, and muttered under her breadth, "you scheming girl."
Sister had a beautiful singing voice and tried her best to teach me too to sing.She used to take great pride when I would sing in my squeaky voice Noorjehan's old immortal songs to the family gathering.As mother was usually too busy in cooking and in her normal duties as a homemaker, she had little time for me. So sister was my mother too. I would sleep during nights only with her, snuggling close for comfort. One afternoon, she sat on a pair of scissors inadvertently and suffered a serious cut She started bleeding profusely from the cut.Seeing the free flow of blood, I started crying inconsolably and entwined myself to her, disregardful of the blood soaking me too. "Oh, my sister, please don't die.How will I live without you?", I wailed. She had to be wrenched free from me to be taken to the doctor who gave her six stiches to stop the flow of blood.The wound took two months to heal.
All what I have mentioned above would have remained dormant in the folds of my memory till my last day but for the fact that I started seeing every day encore of the same brother sister drama in my present household.My grandson, aged 6, and the granddaughter of 13 years are mostly in fighting mode. But reconcilation comes equally fast.Next conflict may assume more violent proportions with the boy usually assuming aggressively attacking posture.On hearing the turmoil the elders always advise the girl to restrain herself, being twice in size and more mature, and she, poor soul ,usually capitulates.But sometimes she is not able to digest the tantrums of the young fellow, and unable to give back what she is getting, her cup of woes spills over.Using the ultimate weapon invented by Queen Kaikeyi in ' Dwapar Yug ' and used by the feminine gender all over the world eversince, she retires into the ' Kope Bhavan'.
The boy is very fond of chocolates and demands one whenever he accompanies me to the market. But he never forgets to make me buy one more for the sister, which
he dutifully passes on to her.The girl also takes lot of pride in the achievements of the brother and watches his antics on and off the stage with great relish. The two are inseparable and feel desolate when they do not see each other even for a short while.
The emotions in this relationship of siblings runs deep; rivalry, jealousy, protectiveness, possessiveness, anger on dissidence, pride, friendship, magnanimity and unbounded love are few of them. Time and distance may dull these, but they remain permanently imprinted in the mind and heart.
My sister has passed away 5 years ago, leaving her children and siblings deeply grieved.
Be in peace Sister, wherever you are.
.
Author: S.S.Seth
My elder sister was 8 years senior to me in age, and the eldest, 16 years. The earliest recollection of the latter one is of a young lady with a small daugter in tow, who used to come to our house once in a while as an honoured guest, with all members of the family fussing over the mother and daughter duo all the time.Not a very happy recollection as with the arrival of the guests, I was ignored in equal measure.This was somewhat painful as being the youngest child of my parents I was accustomed to getting lot of attention in normal course.The person who was doing the maximum doting over me was my elder sister who remained my only childhood companion till she herself got married off at the age of 16.I used to call her by her first name inspite of my parents' directive to show some deference to her by using a respectful adjective like Didi or Bahenji.She became my Bahenji only after the birth of her first child, a son.My fights with her were quite often vigorously physical till she finally left for her husband's place.
The most favoured child of my father was my elder sister, much to the jealousy of both me and our elder brother, and I do not recollect of him ever losing temper or scolding her for her misdeeds which in my childhood eyes were aplenty.We had a desk clock of English make Jazz, the only timepiece in our household.The clock had to be wound once in 24 hours to keep it going, the duty for which was assigned to my sister. Once while winding it she dropped it to the floor breaking it into two pieces, the back cover having come asunder.My mother was shocked.How shall we manage our routine now? The Master of the House has to go to his office on time, and the children to their respective schools, again on time.With no timepiece around, we shall be lost.This was a time when almost all machine items had to be imported from Germany or England, and timepieces including watches were proud possessions. But I was very much elated, and was waiting impatiently for father to come back home from office and thrash this girl of a sister for her carelessness.So finally the day has come when this darling of our father will definitely get a sound bashing from him, I thought.I was ofcourse wrong and had underestimated her cleverness.She accosted father at the front door, before he could even step into the house, with downcast eyes and a long face. "Babuji, I have done a grave mistake today. I have dropped the table clock and broke it into pieces.Please punish me." He put his hand on my sister's head fondly and said,"Oh my darling daughter, don't you worry. Such things do happen in life. We will get the clock mended." I was aghast and felt like crying. My mother smiled broadly, and muttered under her breadth, "you scheming girl."
Sister had a beautiful singing voice and tried her best to teach me too to sing.She used to take great pride when I would sing in my squeaky voice Noorjehan's old immortal songs to the family gathering.As mother was usually too busy in cooking and in her normal duties as a homemaker, she had little time for me. So sister was my mother too. I would sleep during nights only with her, snuggling close for comfort. One afternoon, she sat on a pair of scissors inadvertently and suffered a serious cut She started bleeding profusely from the cut.Seeing the free flow of blood, I started crying inconsolably and entwined myself to her, disregardful of the blood soaking me too. "Oh, my sister, please don't die.How will I live without you?", I wailed. She had to be wrenched free from me to be taken to the doctor who gave her six stiches to stop the flow of blood.The wound took two months to heal.
All what I have mentioned above would have remained dormant in the folds of my memory till my last day but for the fact that I started seeing every day encore of the same brother sister drama in my present household.My grandson, aged 6, and the granddaughter of 13 years are mostly in fighting mode. But reconcilation comes equally fast.Next conflict may assume more violent proportions with the boy usually assuming aggressively attacking posture.On hearing the turmoil the elders always advise the girl to restrain herself, being twice in size and more mature, and she, poor soul ,usually capitulates.But sometimes she is not able to digest the tantrums of the young fellow, and unable to give back what she is getting, her cup of woes spills over.Using the ultimate weapon invented by Queen Kaikeyi in ' Dwapar Yug ' and used by the feminine gender all over the world eversince, she retires into the ' Kope Bhavan'.
The boy is very fond of chocolates and demands one whenever he accompanies me to the market. But he never forgets to make me buy one more for the sister, which
he dutifully passes on to her.The girl also takes lot of pride in the achievements of the brother and watches his antics on and off the stage with great relish. The two are inseparable and feel desolate when they do not see each other even for a short while.
The emotions in this relationship of siblings runs deep; rivalry, jealousy, protectiveness, possessiveness, anger on dissidence, pride, friendship, magnanimity and unbounded love are few of them. Time and distance may dull these, but they remain permanently imprinted in the mind and heart.
My sister has passed away 5 years ago, leaving her children and siblings deeply grieved.
Be in peace Sister, wherever you are.
.
Author: S.S.Seth
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Homeward Bound
I have five grand children, three of whom live across the oceans, in far off America. Two live with me, rather I live with them, in a somewhat sleepy town of a newly created state, Chattisgarh.
The youngest of them, a boy of 7 years, is a bundle of mischief and a loud sounding chatterbox, so much so that there is not a moment of peace when he is around. All the members of the house try to outshout him, but with limited success. His sister, all of 13 years, is constantly at daggers drawn with him, but misses him most when he goes out playing with boys of his age.
Now I am in Kolkata, having come here to see my ailing elder brother and sister in law. But I am yearning to go back to my sleepy town and boistrous grandson. So, off to Shalimar Railway Station to catch my train. Shalimar? Yes it is a Railway Station of Kolkata, and not the name of a movie film or the garden at Srinagar.
Well, more next time.
The youngest of them, a boy of 7 years, is a bundle of mischief and a loud sounding chatterbox, so much so that there is not a moment of peace when he is around. All the members of the house try to outshout him, but with limited success. His sister, all of 13 years, is constantly at daggers drawn with him, but misses him most when he goes out playing with boys of his age.
Now I am in Kolkata, having come here to see my ailing elder brother and sister in law. But I am yearning to go back to my sleepy town and boistrous grandson. So, off to Shalimar Railway Station to catch my train. Shalimar? Yes it is a Railway Station of Kolkata, and not the name of a movie film or the garden at Srinagar.
Well, more next time.
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