Welcome Sunset Years

Welcome Sunset Years

At a tender age the child is sent to school to amass knowledge, to imbibe discipline and generally to prepare him or her to face the world successfully in future life. This starts off a process that lasts till the poor fellow sees the last of the college after a long and tortuous journey, encountering sleepless nights, numerous ups and downs and occasional heartburns to reach better-than-others position in this cut throat and severely competitive world. Some are pressured to excel in arts, sports, theatre, debate, singing, drama and what not by their parents or guardians till they feel like crying “stop now, for heaven’s sake, enough is enough.” And then starts the hunt for a job, a suitable matrimonial match, advancement in career and finally ditto for their own children. This consumes the whole life till the age of sixty or thereabouts. No doubt, with the youthful exuberance, unbounded energy, tough challenges and the pleasure which comes out of meeting them head on, the life is on a song. The enjoyable moments pass off too soon, or so it appears. But the concern and the uncertainty of future remains at the back of the mind till all the problems are addressed and loose ends tied up. The crux of the matter is that there is not a day when you are free from any worry about tomorrow, or the day after. And finally a day comes when you see the last of your office, or factory, or business or whatever you have been doing for donkey years to earn a living. This day you start your retired life, and should carry a large placard at the back of your car proclaiming “J R”, or “Just Retired” in large bold letters. Yes, it should be in the style of “Just Married”, for this day is equally important. You may the same day acquire one more sobriquet, which carries lot of advantages with it, that is, you become a senior citizen of the country. And additionally, you can enjoy your preschool entry years for a much longer duration, with not a worry to bother you, and with a fully mature mind and physical capabilities.
Usually, the retiree is given a send off suiting his rank in the hierarchy, by his colleagues of the yore, accompanied by high sounding speeches praising the sterling qualities of the central person on the podium, qualities discovered by the speakers the same day or maybe a little earlier. As the last item on the agenda the retiree is asked to speak and give his parting advice on how to run the Department which due to his absence may crumble down the next day. This makes the hero of the day think, well, after all these years these buggers have only now realized my true worth, which may be somewhat late in the day. All the same he feels elated and overcome by emotion on parting with such doting colleagues, faces the microphone and babbles out some long forgotten anecdotes, and finally thanks those present for having given their wholehearted cooperation to make him successful in his long innings. Members of the congregation meanwhile wait for the long speech to end so that they can attack the goodies getting cold and soggie on the adjoining tables.
I wonder on the sense of duty and involvement of a relative of mine who continued to visit the branch office of a public sector undertaking from where he retired as the in-charge some ten months ago, to advise the customers and the staff on various matters, every working day of the week. He had to break this routine for about fifteen days due to sickness, during which period not a single phone call came asking the reasons of his absence. Nobody asked him why he did not show up for this long period even when he rejoined his voluntary duties. With this, he got the message and discontinued his self assumed responsibilities forthwith. I really appreciate the level of tolerance of the office staff for the intrusion of this person who was now an outsider for all practical purposes. This example shows that we all tend to glorify in our mind the role we had played in our previous avatar, forgetting the example of the hand in a bucket of water. The hand occupies a prominent place in the bucket so long it is there, but the moment you remove it, the water rushes in to move into the vacated place. There never is a vacuum. For the good of everybody, we should work in our active working life span in a way that our next man in command should be able to step into our shoes at a moment’s notice, if the occasion so demands. This advice is however seldom followed as it goes against the basic human nature of always preserving his importance and irreplaceability. A great sense of dejection and self pity therefore engulfs him or her on the retirement day, and he/she cannot help marching back in time to the thoughts of bygone days of glory and power, again and again.
A friend of mine based at San Jose, California, had mailed me few thoughts of a person who had retired some time ago, and requested me to forward this mail to at least 7 more persons. I am reproducing these as I find them quite topical and many more than seven people can derive the benefit on reading this article. The mail reads as follows:
“I will never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I have aged, I have become kinder to myself and less critical of myself. I have become my own friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I did’nt need, but it looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with ageing.
“Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70’s and if I, at the same time, weep over a lost love, I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body and will dive into waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
“They too will get old.
“I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of the life is just as well forgotten. And eventually I remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and never knows the joys of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you grow older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself any more. I’ve earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like to be the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day, if I feel like it.”
My dear Readers, do you subscribe to the ‘I don’t care two hoots of what you think of me’ attitude of the author of above quote? Frankly speaking, I do. This is how a four year old will feel, before he is burdened with ever increasing demands from the forces controlling his life. But, unfortunately, the person who enters the qualifying zone of senior citizenship has to deal with failing health, uncertain financial security and above all, spells of boredom in suddenly finding that he has nothing much left to do. Having spent a few years of post retirement life, and being a senior citizen for over decade and half, I would venture to put forth some suggestions in the following lines which you may find of interest.
Some decades ago, the age of sixty was considered to be the gateway to grave; and the incumbent a burden on society. He himself would retire into a cocoon, shun the company of youngsters and count the days left for him to live as bonus. Nether world appeared to him to be close by, and he would plunge fulltime into matters spiritual, preparing for a better next life. Today, however things are much different. Thanks to the large scale practice of yoga, pranayam, regular walking, aerobic exercises, better healthcare and improved lifestyle, the life expectancy has dramatically increased. I see in my locality people well into their seventies and eighties walking in the park, socializing and enjoying life with their same age and even younger friends. Not that they do not have health problems, but they have learnt to live in the present, for the past is a closed chapter, the future nobody has seen, and the present is after all a present (gift) to you. The yoga and pranayam practice sessions run with full attendance every day of the week at the appointed hour, come winter, summer or rains. In the senior citizens’ club, like of which are now running in several localities of the city, lectures by health care professionals are being arranged by the office bearers. Such talks are hugely popular and beneficial to the participants.

Proper diet and correct food habits are as important to a happy old age life as regular exercise. The advisability of partaking light vegetarian food with minimum spices, fat, sugar, salt and fried items cannot be over emphasized. Occasional binge of rich food and a peg or two of liquor, particularly in company, can be considered to be acceptable, for life should not be allowed to be a drag and not worth living. Variation in food items, meal to meal, will make eating a pleasant experience to which you would look forward to with anticipation. Diabetes and hypertension are two scourges which are on the rise and afflict many before they are sixty or thereabouts. Both of these are conditions which are irreversible, but with controlled diet, exercise and medication, if advised by the healthcare expert, normal complication free life is certainly possible. For diabetics, there is a raging debate about the use of sugar substitutes like Sugarfree, Equal, Splenda etc. and the medical opinion is divided whether these have harmful after effects or otherwise. In place of artificial sweeteners, it is possibly better to take half or quarter teaspoonful of sugar in a cup of tea or coffee to start with, and then stop the use of sugar altogether in course of time. Believe me, these beverages taste equally good without any sweetener also, once you get used to.
Smoking or use of tobacco in any form is strictly no no. In case you are an addict, it is advisable to get rid of tobacco at the very earliest. The concept that this habit can be tapered off to complete discontinuation is a myth. With certain determination, the use of tobacco has to be stopped at one go. Many of my known people have done so, once the conviction that smoking or chewing tobacco is certain invitation to catastrophe sets in.
If you have been a Government employee at the time of retirement and are entitled to pension benefits, you are lucky, as the pension amount is likely to get enhanced automatically with the increase of general prices. Not as much as to offset the rising prices completely, but may be to some extent. Those who separate out with a one time provident fund and gratuity payment by the employer are not so well placed. The rise of prices will always be much higher than regular income by way of bank interest on your investments. Investment in mutual funds can be a good alternative provided the right choice is exercised. Expert agencies may be consulted for guidance on intelligent investment, as a wrong choice may make you lose even the basic principal, which can never be recouped for want of a regular source of income. Total dependence on the children, who at least in India are usually willing to support the parents in their twilight years due to our cultural heritage, has to be resorted to as the last alternative. Legal recourse is available to those who are financially insecure and their children are not willing to support them at this time of need. Many parents have to spend a lonely life as the children migrate to foreign shores for advancement of their professional career. Well appointed ‘Old Persons’ Homes’ are now available at an affordable price. If you are reasonably comfortable from a financial point of view, go ahead and enjoy life as per the quote mentioned above. Please keep your property, both movable and immovable, in your own name or in the name of your spouse. A will (testament) should be drawn out with expert guidance, clearly listing out the details of your property and mentioning accurately the disposal of the assets, after your departure. The will should be signed by two younger witnesses who are not likely to predecease you in normal circumstances. The contents of your will can be disclosed to the beneficiaries of the same unless there is a special reason not to do so. Your near and dear should not be left to an uncertainty which will be resolved only after you are dead and gone. The disclosure to those concerned may give you an opportunity to make corrections and readjustments in the will document, if you so desire. But you are the final authority on how you wish to bequeath your self- earned assets. There is a school of thought that advocates your enjoying the fruits of your labour to the last paisa before you finally close your eyes. Well, you are certainly entitled to do so, but only after providing for your surviving spouse for his/her remaining years of life.
Those of you who are in reasonably good health, and get an opportunity to work in line with your qualifications and experience, may continue working as this will delay the retirement, apart from giving some financial support. Alternatively, you may join some social or community service, or religious activity if you are so inclined. With many avenues to keep one engaged, the passing of the time of the day should not be a bother at all. Personal computer, desk top type or laptop, can make you spend quality time till you become an internet addict, which condition I will never advise you to achieve. You can listen to and even download on the computer memory any song or movie of your choice any time of the day, and at no cost. Choice of music or movies you can pick up at the internet sites is very large indeed. Any query on any conceivable subject can be answered in a jiffy, thanks to sites like Google. For composition of text by way of letters or literary pieces on the computer Word Pad is extremely user friendly. You can blog, tweet, enter the face book or join any other social networking site to reach any number of people in the world, and make new friends. Use of e-mail and web cam will connect you to your friends and near and dear persons at the speed of light, across the globe and with minimal cost. You can book railway, airline and cinema tickets and hotel or resort accommodation, sitting in your home, and obtain the tickets or receipts using a printer without having to stand in long queues. Electronic trading in shares is a very popular activity, and has displaced the middle men to a large extent. The advantages of a computer with internet connection are really very great, and it is worthwhile investing in a laptop and net connectivity.
Persons who are not computer literate have an inborn resistance to learn the technique at this stage of life, which is quite understandable. But looking to the advantages, this resistance has to be overcome. Your children or grandchildren will be quite happy to teach you the use of computer, and you should not mind learning new things from the youngsters who are smarter than what we were at their age. Proficiency will come fast, with practice.
Solving Crossword and Sudoku puzzles is very interesting exercise, and both are intensely habit forming. These should be therefore attempted within limits, lest you are not left with time to do anything else. Reading newspapers, magazines, works of fiction and non-fiction etc. could be quite engrossing, if you are an avid reader. There are special magazines devoted to senior citizens with matters of geriatric interest. One such monthly magazine ‘Dignity Dialogue’ published from Mumbai landed on my table the other day, as one of my old colleagues had gifted me its subscription for a year. This is a good magazine and offers useful tips relevant to senior citizens. And then there is TV with umpteen channels, and FM radio broadcasts which span all waking hours. What about giving some quality time to your spouse and younger members of the family which you could never do in your active working life? With so many options to keep you engrossed, time should not weigh heavy on you. So far as I am concerned, I just don’t know how the waking hours pass. At the end of the day I am not able to count on my fingers substantive results achieved, except a Sudoku puzzle solved, some household gadgets repaired and a page or two typed on my Word Pad. There is always a big agenda left for the next day.
To sum up, my friends, I would say that you are only as old you think you are, as the body ages, but the mind does not. And it is better to be seventy years young than forty years old. You are getting wiser as you grow old. Somerset Maugham had said quite aptly in one of his popular books “From the earliest times the old had rubbed it into the young that they are wiser than they, and before the young had discovered what nonsense this was they were old too, and it profited them to carry on the imposture.”
You may share your views at : ‘seth_santsaran@rediffmail.com’
Author: S.S.Seth